Dear Diary,

TRUST  a big issue for me..........for some reason i've been thinking about my ex-best friend a lot i guess because half of me is like come on this is not happening gotta go mend it but then the other half is like it's time to let it go why hold onto something that isn't there and obviously the other person could give a rats ass........so here I am ........TRUST....don't have very much of that for many people any more because i've learn even with friends i thought i could TRUST.....it ends up going to shit......which is suckie becuase it makes me have BAGGAGE when i meet potential friends like are you going to fuck me over after a long period of time.......because the friends that i have lost ...i built a friendship with them for awhile then it goes to shit....i guess because of me....but then also a friend should still stick by you through your shitty times i guess i wasn't worth it to them.......which is another thing for me my worth....i feel kinda disposable people just kinda use me and toss me and not even care......which SUCKS ASS because i'm the one left all caring and upset while the other people just leave scotch free no pain and not caring......I guess the lesson is to NOT have any friends hahahaha then I'll never get friend dumped and the cycle of being hurt and upset but oh well...this is life right? Thank goodness I still have a handful of people still sticking by me and for that I have to be GRATFUL and not look at all the people that have screwed me and left me.............It's just kind of shitty that I now have trust issues because of friends.....I guess that's what I'll work on next for my therapy session...that's right i'm MENTAL hahaha and have a therapist!